Wednesday, April 2, 2008

I give up. There's no goodness out there anymore. I was in contact with one more guy and things had actually progressed better than the usual scum floating on the online dating pool. He seemed positive, and I even let myself anticipate going forward with this. Then, just like the others, I get the cancel communique. Sigh. In the actual moment it just hurt a little, I was deflated as I listened to him tell me it's not anything we spoke about, it's not you, we'll reschedule and still do this, he'll make it up to me...I wasn't even having that numbess response. I mean, at best I'd been hoping for a "can't wait to see you" message, a "looking forward to it message"...only to get the slapdown again.

I couldn't even process the pain yet, it's only now seeping out a little. What's the point of yelling and screaming...I don't even know the guy to even miss him. I guess that I will take that break I was considering: I'd taken his message as just one more chance before going on a hiatus. No better excuse than this turn of events, no?

Had one Mr. W. trigger that almost set me off...thinking of his ocean pic again. It's all I have left. It's all that I have left! It's all that I have left...

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