SO things are pretty gray lately. I haven't done much for myself lately; it's hard to adjust back to the "being without" life again. I've gone out on some of those foodie trips I made endless plans to check out. I went to Bam! Automat and Katz's Delicatessan; underwhelming, or maybe it's just my frame of mind too. It's just a lame way to try and distract myself.

I have to find some way to accept that Mr. W is not so nice, that he's not coming back, that he's just there in S.I. out of reach but I can't ever see him again. I did everything I could and things just ended up the way they have. It makes for a lot of teary-eyed moments, but then it's just about controlling it so I can function.

Ha, the "Sex and the City" episode with the "He's just not that into you" storyline was on again last night. It's true all over again. Less revelation this time, more "oh, so it's that way, is it." I actually flinch now, on seeing the small gestures that I've always craved to have. It's not like before, where I thought it could be different - this time it's knowing that you're found to be wanting.